On the drive home I thought about the words I had received. This was obviously not an accident. It could not have been more real had I heard these words audibly, but I felt "It's not about having faith to make the right decision...It's about having faith in Me!"
I arrived home to find Dave (who was home sick) working on the computer. I went and sat down in the computer room and asked "Have you been on a spiritual journey today?". Dave slowly turned around in the computer chair and looked at me. He replied "I feel like I should say yes." I laughed and told him there was no right answer and to just tell me if God had been talking to him. He told me that he was having a growing sense that it wasn't about making a "right" choice. It was about having a heart for God's will and making "a" choice. He felt that after the choice was made the the reality of whether of not the baby actually came to us was up to God.
I recounted my tumultuous morning to him and asked if we had to make a decision about Yared right then, what would he say. He said that he would say "No". I told him that I would say "Yes". Put us in an interesting situation. He asked if my morning had made me change my mind. I told him that it had, that one cannot stay the same when one has had a bludgeoning from God all morning. Dave told me that we should wait until we heard from the physicians about the medical record, and make a decision then.
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