Blog Schizophrenia

New mood equals new blog colors.

Elation equals fear

So the first time I posted that we had an embassy date it was only pure joy. I couldn't have been happier at how this one thing happened in our adoption faster that we thought it would. 1 month later, after looking at packed bags in the dining room day after day, wondering if we should send a care package, wondering, waiting... Today I was with my group of ladies doing our Bible study when I saw Ben's number come up on my phone. I thought "NO WAY!" My ladies were there to hear me scream and watch me clap and jump around. Is the second time the charm? I'm so excited to get my boys. I'm so glad that they will still be mine and that nothing came up in the investigation that would take them from me. Still, there is underlying apprehension. It has been taken before, will something terrible happen again to cause another delay? The cares of the world do not go away. With every joy there is an element of sadness. I will be in Africa meeting my new boys, while my blonde boys are on spring break. I will miss that time with them. My grandfather isn't doing as well as he might. As my parents trek back across the country to help us, they are torn by wanting to help him too and not a little anxious about what will happen while they are gone. Still this week will be sweet and scary as we embrace again the idea of new life with new boys. What is life with God without risk?

What now?

I would write something if only I had something to write. I wish we knew. Maybe soon...

Sad thoughts

These are some thoughts that I shared with a group of ladies who are also in process of adopting from Ethiopia. It has been announced that those families who have not yet passed court will have to appear for the court hearing as well as the embassy date. It is difficult news for some of these ladies who will now have to make 2 trips to Ethiopia to complete their adoption. We still sit and wait for a new embassy date and have no idea when it will come.

I'm so sorry for everyone who has to make 2 trips. It
seems that the entire Ethiopian adoption program is taking a hit right
at the moment. People always told me that my adoption wouldn't look
anything like I thought it would. At the time I couldn't fathom what
that could mean. Everyone else who had gone through it seemed to make
it fairly smoothly. I marvel at the irony of our embassy date debacle.
It was the one thing in the entire adoption process that happened faster
than expected. Everything else took so much longer than anticipated. I
saw the different crazy financial things that happened to Tiffany as
they prepared to travel. When it came to be out turn I wondered what
might happen to us. I prayed that it wouldn't be financial...it
wasn't. I never would have guessed that it would be this. Our bags are
packed and sitting in our dining room.
I'm sure there are great amounts of disappointment and heartache in this
group right now. Despite reassurances, things still hurt. My parents
are still out their plane tickets, we are still out the fees for our
plane tickets, all the plans I had for the next few months are
ruined...and it hurts. It hurts to think of going to meet your child
and then having to leave for a relatively unknown period of time before
you can go back and get them again. It's scary to try to determine how
to pay for 2 trips around the world. I think it is alright to hurt.
God meets us in inexplicable ways. I have told him exactly what I think
of this entire situation. I am more calm than should be possible, and I
wish that for you. As much as it doesn't help now, the thought that
weighs in my mind is that in the grand scheme of life these weeks,
months, and years are a blink of an eye. I eagerly look forward to that
time when all of this pain is a distant memory. There is nothing in the
world like this adoption process to disrupt your plans and force you to
crawl to God and trust him to put you back together from the wreck this
makes of you.
Maia

Waiting again

So, the news is that our wait may not be a full 8 weeks, or it may be more than that if there is a problem in the investigation. The concrete news is that we will not have the March 9th embassy date. We have been told by both our case manager and the State Department that it will not happen. Our plane tickets are on hold. We can hold them for up to 1 year. Now we change our prayers to asking God to make the investigation run smoothly so that we can get a new date as soon as possible. My parents came to stay with us anyway. They are great people. Their arrival has softened the blow on my kids. Now we are hanging out and trying to enjoy each other despite the ridiculous amount of stress we are all under. Please pray that my Ethiopian boys are well cared for, and that they have confidence that we are coming for them.