Growing up

Today I will send my last biological child to camp for a week. I find myself oddly undone by this experience. There are several reasons why this event is significant. First, when my dad put me in the back of a truck, not knowing a soul, after moving 2000 miles from Alaska to Washington State to go to camp for the first time, I was 9 with a 10th birthday looming close. We waited until the twins were 9 before we sent them off for a week as well. Joel was 7, but he went to first-timers which was only 3 days long. Now, we are sending Bryce who is no more than 7, off for a full week. It shouldn't really make a difference, but somehow it does. Bryce was my last baby. He was the first one I got to stay home from work with for the entire 12 week maternity leave available to me. He was the one I got to see on the ultrasound prior to him having a heartbeat. I got to see his strong heart beating a week later, and then he got huge. He was my easiest most enjoyable birth (you can have enjoyable when you've done it a few times) and my biggest baby. Since then his personality has taken over. Forceful is the only way to describe him. He is also dreadfully cute, and the fact that all his growth seemed to happen as an infant makes him little and more babylike, especially when he flashes his dimples. Yesterday when he tried to climb the rockwall he came down and asked one of the facilitators widening deep brown eyes and 1 tear slipping down his cheek "Isn't there an easier way? I just want to go down the zipline...I was so afraid...it's a very high wall for a little boy." If you've ever seen Bryce you know the affect these words had on the poor teenage girl listening. Somehow through the course of events, I've been able to spend more personal time with Bryce than anyone else. It just seemed to work out that way. I like him tremendously and he prefers me to anyone else. He can also be overwhelming and I think I have a greater tolerance for his antics. He is special to me, even though he is not officially my last baby. We will see how this week goes. I'm excited for him, but I will miss him greatly.