Routlyland

Christmas card

2011-01-06T13:20:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas!

If you have been keeping up with the Routlys this year, you will know that it has been a wild ride over the last 12 months. We would like to thank all of our family and friends for their prayers and support over the last year. Without it, who knows what would have happened!

This was, of course, the year of the adoption. In January, we were eagerly awaiting our court date in Addis Ababa so that we would be approved to adopt our two boys. This was approved, and we spent the next few months waiting and preparing. After a very difficult delay in March, we were able to travel to Ethiopia in early April, to pick up Seth and Zane. We have spent much of the remaining year integrating them into our lives here in the States and enjoying our new, larger family. Just recently, on December 16, we went to court and completed the last step in the adoption. They are completely and officially ours, and we couldn’t be happier about it.

So some family updates: Bren and Jace are both nine now, and in third grade. They are both doing well in school, but finding the gradual increase in homework and responsibility to be a challenge. They have been a fantastic help with the new boys, especially Zane. Joel is seven, and in first grade. He is a sweet and loving boy with a great personality. His giving spirit sometimes amazes me. The three older boys had the chance to attend an overnight camp for the first time this year, which was a real highlight. They are currently taking a break from their regular karate lessons to join a wrestling team at a local high school. The coach of the team says that they are “too nice for wrestling,” but he is trying to make them a little more mean. The stated goal of the boys participation in wrestling, however, is to eventually be able to beat me in a fight.

Bryce began kindergarten this year, and appears to have taken over the school Bryce hides a very strong personality under a very sweet and cute demeanor, which proves very effective at getting what he wants. Every Friday, he leaves school with a pocket full of candy received from other kindergarten teachers that he visits on the way out of the school. He has been challenged by the fact that he is no longer the baby of the family, however he seems to have taken on his new “twin” very well. He and Seth compete on everything, but make very good companions.

Seth has been working hard to learn English and settle into our home. We have often felt like we have been cramming five years of parenting into the eight months that we have had him, but he has a great spirit that has allowed him to deal with all of the massive changes that have occurred in his life over the last several years. He is enjoying preschool currently, and is learning to read and write.

Zane is now fifteen months old. He has been able to walk for the last six months or so, and currently runs everywhere. He a healthy, happy, chubby baby with an infectious giggle. He loves his big brothers, but also seems to have a strong enough personality to deal with being the youngest of six boys. The adjustment back to the diaper phase has not been easy, but it is brief and we are enjoying it while it lasts.

Maia continues to enjoy staying home during the week and working on weekends in the Emergency Department at Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta. She has tried to focus on developing more and better relationships with people in our community and on serving the teachers at our elementary school.

I have continued to work as a counselor with Gwinnett County Mental Health over the past year. In May, I was ordained as an elder at our church, where I have been teaching a few classes, including those for lay counselors.

Other highlights this year have included our third summer with the Thunderbolts swim team, a trip to Huntsville, AL to visit the Space and Rocket Center, and a great weekend away for Dave and Maia running through a zipline canopy tour. One of the best things that our family has done this year, though, has been to begin to have friends over every Sunday afternoon for lunch. We have started to build some really good friendships through these lunches, and look forward to continuing them in the future.

Family pictures

2010-06-24T07:15:00.001-07:00

Family pictures

2010-06-24T06:33:00.001-07:00

Family pictures

2010-06-24T06:24:00.001-07:00

Family pictures

2010-06-24T06:13:00.001-07:00

Flames

2010-06-04T05:45:00.001-07:00

This week was a strange one. Amidst all the repairs we have been making summer life rolls along. I managed to find a new cell phone and Dave fixed the upstairs toilet just in time for the kids to break it again. Guess what he is doing this weekend?
Our home phone and internet were down this week so I felt a little cut off. I am down to about 1 major meltdown a day, but yesterday I had 2. First Seth locked us out of the house. We have to break in through one of the windows. Fortunately everyone was with me and we could get in without calling a locksmith. We have been tell Seth not to lock doors since he got here. There is something about the mechanism or the fact that you can't open it, or something that appeals to him, because despite numerous disciplinary actions, he still locks them. Maybe I yelled loud enough to get something through to him yesterday.
Later that day I discovered that one of the boys had not closed the freezer Wednesday night when he had put something away. This is our large storage freezer. The first shelf and the door were entirely melted as were several items on the other shelves. This when I had my second emotional breakdown. As I was fussing over the fact that they can't be trusted with anything, and I have go check behind them with everything, Joel is his calm sweet voice said "Mom sometimes I feel like you are going to burst into flame."
That gave me pause. I said "Joel, sometimes I feel like that too!". We laughed and managed to have a good evening.

Dave's first day home alone with 6 boys.

2010-05-22T09:55:00.001-07:00

So the fall out from my first night back at work and Dave's first day home alone with 6 boys was unexpected. It seems that the worst thing that happened was the 3 older boys managed to log into my ebay account using their computer and bid on 4 Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Fortunately they figured shipping into their bids and did not bid more than their combined piggy banks could afford, but I CANNOT BELIEVE MY CHILDREN WERE BIDDING ON EBAY!!!! So far they have been outbid on 1 item and are winning the other 3. Time to change the ebay password.

Success

2010-05-17T05:57:00.000-07:00

I think of this blog as a way to remember our lives during this time. As it is fun to remember the humorous things, it is also important to remember triumphs. This is one I believe. The twins were assigned a math project at school. They had to create their own math game. Jace chose something like chutes and ladders where he created a board. You draw a card, and answer the math question on it. If you get it right then you get to roll the dice and move ahead. If you get it wrong then you stay where you are. It was simple and complete and he did a good job. Bren, however blew me away. He is so forgetful, fanciful, and distracted most of the time I often miss the elements of brilliance that make him my husband's son. His game is played with cards. There are roles, the banker and the players. Everyone starts with $2.00. The banker plays 2 cards that have numbers on them. The players get to look at the numbers and decide if they will play in that round. If they choose to play, it costs them $.05. They pay the banker and the first player rolls the dice. You have to roll one of the digits on one of the cards to get a chance to play. If you don't roll a digit shown then it moves to the next player who rolls. If you do get a digit then you have a choice as to what math problem you will do. You get $1.00 for adding correctly, $2.00 for subtracting correctly and $5.00 for multiplying. The banker checks the answer on the calculator. If the player gets it wrong, the remaining players resume rolling and answering until someone gets it right or everyone has taken a turn. If they get it right then the banker pays them their money and draws 2 more cards. When the cards run out, the person with the most money gets to be banker but no one can be banker twice in 1 game. When everyone has had a chance to be banker, the person with the most money wins. We played this game last night with the kids and had a great time. Bren and Jace were really challenged by the banker role, and Dave and I were challenged by some of the 3 digit multiplication question we had to do in our heads. What great fun. I hope Bren gets a great grade for this one.

Boys dancing

2010-05-11T10:47:00.000-07:00

Seth and Bryce were showing me their "cool moves" yesterday. Here is the video.

BREN!!!

2010-05-11T10:40:00.000-07:00

Thursday - Lost birthday frog. Thought he needed to stretch his legs so left him on the floor of the twins room with the door open, under a pile of cards. That was a good idea wasn't it? Anyway, did homework, when returned to room frog was gone!
Utter despair.
Friday - Frog found by Dad. Superhero Dad! Promises never to do anything like that again.
Monday - lost birthday frog. Left him on the floor covered by a plastic volcano. Forgot about frog and announced this to parents while in car to go to swim team practice. Volcano was kicked over by someone, no frog.
Monday 7pm - room searched by family
9pm - room searched by parents
10pm - room searched by mom
2am - room searched by dad
5am - room searched by mom
6am - room searched by dad
6:30am - frog found accidently by Bren
7am - parents regretting purchasing birthday frog for irresponsible 9y/o and threatening to take frog back to the pet store should ANYTHING like this EVER happen again.

Time Out

2010-05-11T06:05:00.000-07:00

So I never thought that I would be one to celebrate a child sitting in a time-out chair, but we are. Seth managed to sit in the time-out chair for the first time this weekend. This is significant, because previously when he had to go there he would not stay in, he would scrape the chair along the floor, hit the walls, and attack the table that sits near the chair. We would eventually have to take him to his car seat. Now at our month anniversary he sat for the first time in his time-out. Progress!

How to write it all down?

2010-05-09T11:18:00.000-07:00

I would love to catalogue these days, but I get up when the kids do and at the end of the day I fall into bed exhausted. I need to put in items of note though. These are things that have made us feel more like a family.
1) We went to see the Gleysteen's yesterday in Birmingham. Dr. John Gleysteen had done Zane's life saving surgery in Ethiopia last September. It was wonderful to shake the hand of the man who saved our baby's life.
2) We have gone 8 full days without a tantrum/time-out session with Seth. Last week on Tuesday I was talking to my mom and telling her that we were having a good week so far and that the only person who had been in the time-out chair was Bryce. Bryce stated loudly that Seth had been in the time-out chair as well. Immediately Seth shouted "Time-out chair NO!". I told him that he was right...he had not been in the time-out chair this week.
3) Bryce and Seth were outside playing and Bryce was coming in intermittently to tattle on Seth. Once Seth came in with a stream of words in his language. Bryce came in behind him and asked "What did he say?". We said "We don't know, but we assume he's tattling on you." Bryce then says "Don't believe anything he says!"
4) My washer broke Monday so we had to go out and get a new one. We bought a floor model so it could be delivered Wednesday. They didn't have all the parts when they delivered it, so they said it would be 7-10 days before they could get it all hooked up. Meanwhile, the children were in the backyard having a mudslinging contest and there I was without a washer.
5) Dave was ordained as an elder Thursday evening. Prior to our neighbors arriving to watch the boys, Bren's frog got lost, the little boys were forgotten strapped in the car, the pizza wasn't picked up and everyone was crying. God bless Cindy and Kimberly Merriam who amidst that bedlam allowed us to walk out the door and encouraged us to go out to dinner after the church service.

These days

2010-04-24T12:57:00.001-07:00

So we have been home for a week now. I have accomplished some things. There are pictures on the blog and on facebook. Our laundry is done and put away. I think that's all I have accomplished. It has been so helpful to have the meals coming in. My church/friend neighbors has been lending me their daughter to accompany me to outings just so there will be another adult type person there. We are meeting with the elders tomorrow at church to have them pray over our family.
I feel like we are having forward momentum. Yesterday Bryce and Seth shot each other with water sprayers for hours. They each went through 4 changes of clothes. After a week I am now comfortable and happy with the decision to take Bryce out of preschool to spend time with his brothers. We have had 3 episode free days in a row. Seth still doesn't obey that well, but it's difficult to determine if he truly understands what he is being told. There is a lot of pointing and grunting. I am feeling better about our relationship. He has been snuggly with me when Dave has been at work and is seeming to adjust better to our comings and goings. I would say that we are in a much better frame of mind than a week ago. Now I just have to start adding back pieces of life one at a time.

guest house

2010-04-22T10:45:00.000-07:00

Pictures pictures

2010-04-22T10:37:00.000-07:00

More pictures from Ethiopia

2010-04-22T10:26:00.000-07:00

Ethiopia pictures

2010-04-21T13:46:00.000-07:00

What was normal?

2010-04-20T10:38:00.000-07:00

Part of me wishes that I had kept a journal during our time in Ethiopia. It's so difficult to describe everything that we experienced. We got in on Tuesday morning. We went to our guest house, explored the area, had dinner and went to sleep. Day 2 we were picked up at 1000 by the CWA van and taken to the foster home. We got to see Zane first. His nanny prayed over him, and we got to see the area and speak to the nurse. We then went to the boys foster home to pick up Seth. The moment Dave stepped out of the car Seth ran to him and clung tight. He gave me a cursory hug and then it was all about Dave. We got his well worn photo album, and a quilt a family had made for him. Those were all of his possessions. We then got back in the van and went back to the guest house. We spent the afternoon playing with him and trying to get to know him a little.
Day 3, we went back to the CWA office to do paperwork and have a coffee ceremony. This was the first day that Seth began to do things that concerned us. He would do something, we would tell him not to, he would look at us, smile, and do it again. Infuriating for parents who are pretty strict with the kids. First screaming episode happened at dinner. We think he was not happy with what was offered and then proceeded to scream through his time out after he poured his water on the floor.
Day 4 - Embassy date. Seth, who we believe to be 4 yrs old sat quietly for 2 hrs while we waited for our appointment. He didn't ever play with the toys we brought for him. Wonder why time outs don't bother him so much. Got to go visit Acacia Village. It was a neat outing. No further disobedience, a good day.
The weekend - Nothing to do, had to stay within the walls of the guest house. One day Seth ran away from me and an Ethiopian man had to chase him down for me. Another time he did the very thing that Dave told him not to then proceeded to scream for an hour through time out. We were so blessed in the people at the guest house. The Ethiopians tried to help us, the Swedish people were tolerant, helpful, and gave us so much support and words of wisdom. We owe them all so much.
Monday - ended up being another day at the guest house, though Dave took a trip out.
Tuesday - we spoke to the people from the foster home about Seth's behavior. They were as surprised as we were and just encouraged us to give it time. We left at 10:15pm to fly home.
Wednesday - 0830 we land in Washington Dulles airport. We hooked up with Chris and Anna Routly. We were so happy to see them, and amazed that they would drive that far to just spend a couple of hours with us. Seth was tired and wanted to lay on the floor. When we told him he couldn't, he went limp and started screaming in the airport. We did not want to be an item for attention so we went outside. When Dave set him down he ran for the street which was full of cars. Dave caught him at the barrier. (Next lesson traffic safety) More screaming ensued. We others left Dave sitting with the screaming child and went in to have coffee and talk about the trip. The flight to Atlanta was uneventful and we were met with 2 surprise parties and tons of happy people.
Thursday - We spent the morning going back and forth in time out with more than an hour of screaming. It's like he wants to be in trouble and he's looking for things to get him in trouble.
The weekend - better, fewer episodes, more play time.
Monday - Dave goes back to work. We pull Bryce out of preschool due to his own emotional transition. Feel like it would be good to spend time with mom and brothers. No episodes from Seth, and he gives mom her first real hug.

I have never been afraid of one of my children. I have to say we were afraid to take Seth into public and part of me still is. We don't know when he will melt down and have a full on 2y/o tantrum. The language barrier is even more difficult than anticipated just because he withdraws into silence and we didn't realize how much we use words to work things out. I was prepared to be rejected by my new child, but emotionally how can you be? I expected that he would reject both of us, not just me. The whole time we were there he was attached to Dave at the hip and would hardly look at me. Our major episodes were when Dave went out and Seth refused to obey or even acknowledge me. What a change from the 4 little boys who are usually all over me. It has been better since we are at home, but it is a constant effort to keep my heart open to this little boy. I have to keep opening up myself to love him, though he may keep hurting and rejecting me. Having Dave at work has been better for me. He called me Mommy for the first time on Friday, and yesterday I got my first hug. So we are making progress. I find myself physically tired, but I think it's mostly from emotions. The baby is wonderful. I have enjoyed him so much, but he is a baby and tiring. We have had an outpouring of support and are thankful for it. I want to accept the help and I am a little at a loss as to how to do that. For now, I'm going to try to do those things that make life run...appointments, laundry, meals. Hopefully the rest will follow.

Back Home

2010-04-16T16:17:00.000-07:00

We are back. We are now trying to manage life with 6 little boys. The problems we are encountering are different than we'd imagined. Still, we are happy to be home, and happy to be beginning our new life with our new family.

Plans

2010-04-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

It is so difficult to know what you have put in a blog and what still needs to be posted. In the time since my last post, my parents have become concerned about my grandfather's help and a joint decision was made. We have called in all favors from friends and my parents will be staying in Arizona. I have been sweetly surprised at how willing people are to help us. We always seem to be so needy and I assume that they will get tired of having to bail us out.
As we prepare to leave for Africa, I have to keep my head in the game for 2 more days of work. We then have one more day to spend with the boys and then off we go to get the new boys and who knows what that will be like. After waiting for so long it is a surreal experience. I have trained myself not to think in terms of time lines. The other day when I was considering holding the baby in my arms, I found myself being unwilling to count down the days.
I want to go there and take those children out of a group and say "You are mine!!! God has ordained that you be given to me. You are loved. You are wanted and we have waited for you for soooooo long."

Blog Schizophrenia

2010-03-29T13:56:00.000-07:00

New mood equals new blog colors.

Elation equals fear

2010-03-29T13:45:00.000-07:00

So the first time I posted that we had an embassy date it was only pure joy. I couldn't have been happier at how this one thing happened in our adoption faster that we thought it would. 1 month later, after looking at packed bags in the dining room day after day, wondering if we should send a care package, wondering, waiting... Today I was with my group of ladies doing our Bible study when I saw Ben's number come up on my phone. I thought "NO WAY!" My ladies were there to hear me scream and watch me clap and jump around. Is the second time the charm? I'm so excited to get my boys. I'm so glad that they will still be mine and that nothing came up in the investigation that would take them from me. Still, there is underlying apprehension. It has been taken before, will something terrible happen again to cause another delay? The cares of the world do not go away. With every joy there is an element of sadness. I will be in Africa meeting my new boys, while my blonde boys are on spring break. I will miss that time with them. My grandfather isn't doing as well as he might. As my parents trek back across the country to help us, they are torn by wanting to help him too and not a little anxious about what will happen while they are gone. Still this week will be sweet and scary as we embrace again the idea of new life with new boys. What is life with God without risk?

What now?

2010-03-24T17:27:00.000-07:00

I would write something if only I had something to write. I wish we knew. Maybe soon...

Sad thoughts

2010-03-12T09:08:00.000-08:00

These are some thoughts that I shared with a group of ladies who are also in process of adopting from Ethiopia. It has been announced that those families who have not yet passed court will have to appear for the court hearing as well as the embassy date. It is difficult news for some of these ladies who will now have to make 2 trips to Ethiopia to complete their adoption. We still sit and wait for a new embassy date and have no idea when it will come.

I'm so sorry for everyone who has to make 2 trips. It
seems that the entire Ethiopian adoption program is taking a hit right
at the moment. People always told me that my adoption wouldn't look
anything like I thought it would. At the time I couldn't fathom what
that could mean. Everyone else who had gone through it seemed to make
it fairly smoothly. I marvel at the irony of our embassy date debacle.
It was the one thing in the entire adoption process that happened faster
than expected. Everything else took so much longer than anticipated. I
saw the different crazy financial things that happened to Tiffany as
they prepared to travel. When it came to be out turn I wondered what
might happen to us. I prayed that it wouldn't be financial...it
wasn't. I never would have guessed that it would be this. Our bags are
packed and sitting in our dining room.
I'm sure there are great amounts of disappointment and heartache in this
group right now. Despite reassurances, things still hurt. My parents
are still out their plane tickets, we are still out the fees for our
plane tickets, all the plans I had for the next few months are
ruined...and it hurts. It hurts to think of going to meet your child
and then having to leave for a relatively unknown period of time before
you can go back and get them again. It's scary to try to determine how
to pay for 2 trips around the world. I think it is alright to hurt.
God meets us in inexplicable ways. I have told him exactly what I think
of this entire situation. I am more calm than should be possible, and I
wish that for you. As much as it doesn't help now, the thought that
weighs in my mind is that in the grand scheme of life these weeks,
months, and years are a blink of an eye. I eagerly look forward to that
time when all of this pain is a distant memory. There is nothing in the
world like this adoption process to disrupt your plans and force you to
crawl to God and trust him to put you back together from the wreck this
makes of you.
Maia

Waiting again

2010-03-04T05:51:00.000-08:00

So, the news is that our wait may not be a full 8 weeks, or it may be more than that if there is a problem in the investigation. The concrete news is that we will not have the March 9th embassy date. We have been told by both our case manager and the State Department that it will not happen. Our plane tickets are on hold. We can hold them for up to 1 year. Now we change our prayers to asking God to make the investigation run smoothly so that we can get a new date as soon as possible. My parents came to stay with us anyway. They are great people. Their arrival has softened the blow on my kids. Now we are hanging out and trying to enjoy each other despite the ridiculous amount of stress we are all under. Please pray that my Ethiopian boys are well cared for, and that they have confidence that we are coming for them.

Thanks

2010-02-28T13:02:00.000-08:00

Thank you to everyone who prayed for us today. Thank you to those who came and touched our hearts, thanks to those who thought of us and prayed. We head into this week with reserved expectation of good news. We asked God for a miracle. We would love to have our embassy date reinstated. We will just have to see. Thank you so much to everyone who has supported and cried with us over the past few days.

Staying home

2010-02-26T08:04:00.000-08:00

So it looks like no embassy date for us right now. We have not completely lost hope. A worker from the agency is going to the embassy next week to plead individual cases. God can change their minds and let us through. If that doesn't happen, then we are looking at a long wait. I keep telling myself that it's for God's glory, not just in his timing, but actually for his Glory! Still we are hurting so deeply. I had finally let my emotions run away. I envisioned myself holding and hugging our little ones. The idea that those visions are not close is heart breaking. This week I put all the baby's clothes in his dresser. If we wait I may have to take them all back out because he will be too big. Contemplating the time I am missing with them pulls at my body and weighs me down. Somehow...it is for his glory and our greater good.

Follow up Zane's story

2010-02-25T06:07:00.000-08:00

We continued to get information about Zane throughout the rest of the adoption process. We got chest xray reports that I was able to run by my group of physicians. We got lab results, which showed an near normal hemoglobin when he first arrived at the orphanage. We know way more about Zane medically than we do about Seth, and probably more than 90% of adoptive families from Ethiopia. We see his adorable face and can't wait to get him and squeeze his fat rolls.
Due to this blog and the information others have provided, we have found the American surgeon who performed Zane's surgery. He lives about 3 hours from us. Our intention is to go visit him once we have Zane home and get some pictures. I'll post them when it happens.

Zane's story part 5b Wednesday, Afternnon

2010-02-25T05:54:00.000-08:00

Secure in the sense that we didn't have to get it right Dave left to go get Bryce from preschool. We had discussed the idea that it didn't matter really what we chose. If we truly trusted God and this was truly our baby then he was coming to us no matter what we said. If he really was not our baby, then he wasn't coming to us regardless of what we said. If God is in control then he can influence systems to do his will. When Dave arrived home, he found me crying in front of the computer. We had received an email from one of the physicians (Melissa)who we had sent the medical record to. She is very trustworthy, brilliant, and thorough. It seemed that she had combed that record. She said that she believed the low hemoglobin had been dilutional due the large amounts of resucitation fluid the staff had given the baby. Unfortunately, we didn't have the cbc that showed the results. She said that it looked like other than over-hydrating him a bit, that they had taken good care of him and that he was doing well. In her opinion, he was healthy enough for us to take.
Later that afternoon, out of the blue, I got a call from another physician friend (Laurie) to had looked over the initial paperwork with me. I had mentioned that I would like a surgeon to look over the medical record. She told me that she was at work and the specific surgeon I had mentioned was there. She asked if I would like her to show him the record. I said "yes" and spent the next minutes sending it to her.
At 9:00pm I received another phone call. It was Laurie again. She had the surgeon (Matt) on the phone. As he started to talk to me he mentioned that he had worked in Africa for 2 years. He said "You know that I worked in Africa for 2 years?". I said that I didn't know that, at the same time being dumbfounded. What better person to look over the record than someone who was familiar with the system there. He said that the physicians there are very good. We didn't have an operative report, but he said from what was in the record that all looked well and he would have no reservations about the baby.
After hearing this report from Matt and Melissa, Dave and I popped the bottle of champagne. We heard from the other physician the next day. He also said that the baby looked healthy and that we should go ahead. We filled out the form and faxed it in. We were getting a baby!

Zane's story part 5b Wednesday, Home

2010-02-25T05:45:00.000-08:00

On the drive home I thought about the words I had received. This was obviously not an accident. It could not have been more real had I heard these words audibly, but I felt "It's not about having faith to make the right decision...It's about having faith in Me!"

I arrived home to find Dave (who was home sick) working on the computer. I went and sat down in the computer room and asked "Have you been on a spiritual journey today?". Dave slowly turned around in the computer chair and looked at me. He replied "I feel like I should say yes." I laughed and told him there was no right answer and to just tell me if God had been talking to him. He told me that he was having a growing sense that it wasn't about making a "right" choice. It was about having a heart for God's will and making "a" choice. He felt that after the choice was made the the reality of whether of not the baby actually came to us was up to God.
I recounted my tumultuous morning to him and asked if we had to make a decision about Yared right then, what would he say. He said that he would say "No". I told him that I would say "Yes". Put us in an interesting situation. He asked if my morning had made me change my mind. I told him that it had, that one cannot stay the same when one has had a bludgeoning from God all morning. Dave told me that we should wait until we heard from the physicians about the medical record, and make a decision then.

Zane's story part 5a Wednesday, Good Sam

2010-02-24T05:41:00.000-08:00

It seems somewhat fitting that on a Wednesday I will attempt to finish Zane's story that took such a drastic turn on a Wednesday. We had received the referral on Thursday. Tuesday we had learned that Zane's surgery was to fix pyloric stenosis and we had gotten the medical record which was written in English. We were still uncertain though. We had this strange low hemoglobin value with no explanation.
Wednesday morning I got up and started my Bible study. My group and I had been working through the book Believing God by Beth Moore. Interestingly, that morning the task in the workbook was to look up a whole bunch of different verses. As I went through them I was struck by the running theme. They all spoke about God's power, God's faithfulness, and how to have faith and trust in him. By the end of the set of verses I was saying "Ok God. I get that I'm supposed to have faith. But what do I have faith in? Do I have the faith to say no? or the faith to say yes to this baby?"
I headed off to volunteer that morning. Dave and I volunteer at a low income health clinic. I wanted to get there in time for their devotions because I wanted them to pray for us. While I drove to Good Sam I prayed for God to answer my question. To give me the information I needed to make the right decision. Due to traffic I arrived slightly late. The doctor had already started the devotion. Interestingly, he was talking about having faith. Hmmmmm. He related it the field of finances, but I related it to my own situation. He reminded us that God takes care of each of his creatures. He dresses up the flowers in their time and makes them beautiful. He cares for the animals, gives them the food and shelter they need. How much more does he care for us? He told us that we may not get everything we want, but he will provide all that we need because he has promised to do so.
When Jake finished, I shared my story and our request for prayers for guidance. I bawled all the way through the conversation and prayer. I so desperately wanted to make the right choice for my family.
After prayers, Jake caught me attempting to pull myself together in another room. He shared with me one of his adoption stories. He told me about how when they were going to adopt their oldest child, that a group of missionaries had visited the orphanage where he was. They brought back the report that something was wrong with his hearing. Jake and Sajini had to decide if they would still accept a hearing impaired child. He said that he understood some of the conflict I was feeling. They decided that they would accept the child anyway, and started learning sign language. Miraculously, when they got him home, they found that he had horrible ear infections. When they got the infections cleared away, the child's hearing was normal. He told me that we just needed to trust God for the decision. I told him that I wanted to trust God, but I didn't know what decision to make. I had previously shared about how we had decided not to accept Yared if he had anything other than pyloric stenosis. Jake looked at me and said, "It sounds like you have put some pretty specific things in front of God and it looks like he has answered you."
And with those simple words, my world fell apart. I was consumed by fear. I said something to end the conversation, the ran to the bathroom and sobbed. I asked myself why I was so afraid of this baby? Why was I so afraid of the unknown? Did I not believe that God would take care of me and my current children through our circumstances?
I must apologize to all the patients I drew blood on that day. I was a complete wreck and shaking like a leaf while I was sticking them with large needles. (I didn't miss any though.)
During one lull, I was in the lab spinning some blood. The dentist at the clinic happened to walk by. I had not met her before and she had not come to the devotions that morning. She told me her name was Gloria. She asked me some about myself, and we found that we had a military background in common, mine being a child of a member of the military. After talking about that a little, out of the blue, she says "You know what I want in my life? I want to trust God more. I feel like everything we do is half-assed and I want to trust him completely and see where is takes me!"
At this point I had to laugh. I felt like I had been bludgeoned. I told her my story and she got a huge smile on her face. She told me that it wasn't about making the "right" choice. It was about trust. She continued on to tell me about a miracle in her own life. A child that we was told she would never conceive, who is now 10. She said "Just take the baby and God will take care of the rest!". I headed home feeling beaten, but somehow comforted.

OUR EMBASSY DATE

2010-02-18T14:20:00.001-08:00

We got the official confirmation of our embassy date today. It will be March 9th. My parents will be flying in Feb. 27th from Arizona to watch the kids for the week we are gone. We will leave March 3rd and fly home March 12. We are going a little early because my adventurous husband needs some time to sight see. Fortunately have a co-worker with family in Addis who is willing to have someone show us around. How fun! Hopefully we won't get sick.

HOLY COW

2010-02-14T21:06:00.000-08:00

So I didn't get to finish Zane's story yet. It snowed here in Atlanta and I got stuck at work. Anyway, a man named Fred from Australia posted a comment on one of the parts of Zane's story. He had come across an article about a baby and wanted to know if it could be Zane. I pulled up the article http://www.medicalteams.org/sf/archives/john_gleysteen.aspx and was greeted by a picture of a very familiar belly. The most incredible part comes next. This surgeon lives in Birmingham, Alabama, about 3 hours away from us. Guess where we are going to take Zane for a visit after he gets home?

Seth and Zane see their family

2010-02-10T13:05:00.001-08:00

Zane's story part 4

2010-02-10T09:55:00.000-08:00

Tuesday came without much new information. I went to lunch with another fellow adoptive parent who reminded me that God is the one who has chosen these children for us and that he will work it out. I told her that I was relieved with our decision and ready to look toward the next referral.
I got home and pulled up our email. First we had an Ethiopian hospital medical record not translated, but written in English! One of my physician friends had told me it was going to be this way but I didn't believe him. Then, there it was a mere 4 days after the referral. Ben's note said that he couldn't really make out anything, but he doesn't have nurses eyes. I could read it, and the obstruction was a pyloric stenosis! I looked up the procedure they had done to correct it and it seemed like a standard procedure. At the same time I felt elated and disappointed. I had worked myself up to being content with letting Yared go and now he might stay. I called my friend from the morning and Dave, then sent all the medical information to two of my physician friends to see what they would say. Then we wait.
One little part of this story that I haven't mentioned was that we had this bottle of champagne that we were going to open when we got the referrals. It didn't seem right to open it when we got Seth's referral because it was just one. We went to Washington D.C. for the kids to see some of the Smithsonian museums in the interim. We took the bottle of champagne with us just in case we should get the second referral while we were away. The day we got Yared's referral didn't seem like the right day because we didn't know what to do about all of the medical stuff. So the champagne continued to sit in our refrigerator waiting for us to make a decision.

Zane's story part 3

2010-02-10T09:40:00.000-08:00

I went to church with a heavy heart Sunday. Whenever I saw another friend who had adopted or was on an adoption journey I started to cry. I was going to have to say "no" to this baby that emotionally I really wanted, but who just didn't seem like a good fit in our family. Dave and I had said at the very beginning, that we were going to adopt, but we were not going to sacrifice our 4 children to do so. Sure we all have to sacrifice something, but we didn't want to bring medically fragile children home who might take up 90% of our time and energies.
Monday brought emails chronicling Yared's time at the orphanage. It seemed that they had him for a few days, then he was vomiting and they took him to the hospital. They said his hemoglobin was 5 and that it was too low for surgery so he needed the transfusion.
That evening Dave and I had a long discussion. We talked about our reasons for adopting. We talked about Seth and how our decision about Yared would affect him. The longer we take, the longer he waits in the orphanage. We discussed how to determine how to make the "right" decision. If we made the "wrong" decision we would be taking someone else's baby. Maybe we would take him from someone who was more equipped to care for him. What if he was supposed to come to us and we said "no". Then what?
Eventually we decided that a bowel obstruction was too much of a chronic medical issue to add to our family. We don't have family members living near us, we have no one to take care of our kids should we have to stay in the hospital with a child for an extended period. We tried to put the idea of Yared behind us and look forward to another referral. From the emails and some of the information at the beginning there seemed a small chance that Yared's problem had been a pyloric stenosis. This is an innocuous problem which truly is a one time surgical fix. Trying not to be hasty we decided that we would wait to find out what the obstruction was. If it was anything other than a pyloric stenosis we would say "no". If it was pyloric stenosis then we would continue on and see if we could figure out the blood transfusion stuff.

Zane's story part 2

2010-02-10T09:25:00.002-08:00

I printed off the pictures and small amount of information we had been given and headed to work that night. I has asked Ben if we could get the medical record so we could find out just was what done at the hospital. He said that he could request it, but that it would need to be translated. I was faced with the idea that we would have to make the decision to accept or decline this baby with practically no information. How were they going to get us a translated medical record within the 10 days we had to decide?
I went to work that evening and didn't do a very good job. Every new physician who walked through the door got Yared's information thrust under his or her nose. Meanwhile I was looking up every possible cause of bowel obstruction and their prognoses. By the end of the weekend I had spoken to many physicians and there was a general consensus. Do not accept the baby. Bowel obstructions in a small infant are even more problematic, than those in older babies. What could have caused the low hemoglobin which made the transfusion necessary? Was there some sort of underlying coagulopathy, or did he just lose blood from a home birth? Only one physician encouraged me to accept the baby. All the rest said that the risk that this baby would turn out to have significant chronic problems was too high. One physician even sat down and talked me through all the testing that would have to be done to find out what was wrong and what therapies would be needed. It was so hard for me. I looked at his face, and his body and he looked like a healthy baby. How could he be sick? One of my physician friends asked me if I would even be considering him had I not seen the picture and I had to say "no".

Note to Heather

2010-02-10T09:25:00.001-08:00

Help, I'm trying to get on to follow your blog and I can't manage it. What do I need to do?

Pictures

2010-02-09T11:23:00.000-08:00

I thought I would upload a few more of the best pictures.

Zane's story part 1

2010-02-09T11:07:00.000-08:00

So I finally got around to reading some comments people have posted. It's odd to me that anyone actually reads my blog. But I have been told to blog more. I used to do a weekly update before I got on facebook, and now all I seem to do is play bejeweled blitz. I am going to try to turn a new leaf and spend time posting to better keep in touch. Heather I love that fact that we can talk about our 6 children. I will always appreciate being invited over to your zoo...home. I'm sure I will soon feel the same way...sometimes I already do.
Now that the adoption is final I am able to tell you Zane's story. It is rather long so I'm going to break it up into segments. It was October 15, 2 weeks after we had received Seth's referral that we got the phone call. We had anticipated getting the second referral days after the first, so it had been a very difficult 2 weeks. Ben called in the morning and I had to work that night so I was resting. He told me that he had a referral for us. I was so excited. I wanted a little baby and I was sure that we were going to get an 11m/o because Dave wanted an older baby. So I steeled myself to hear about the baby.
Ben told me that he had been abandoned and that they had named him Yared. He was is Soddo the same orphanage as Seth. He then told me that Yared had undergone surgery for an obstruction. Being an RN I immediately asked what kind of obstruction. Ben said that they didn't have that information. He went on to tell me that Yared had also received a blood transfusion. My mind was whirring as I considered all the implications of this information. Ben said that the doctor that did the surgery had stated that there would be no follow-up needed, but that it was a complete fix. I was thinking that as a mother of 6 I was supposed to take the word of a surgeon that he had completely fixed the problem. I was trying to think of all the different maladies that would cause a bowel obstruction in an older baby. I asked Ben just how old he was and he said that Yared had been abandoned on Sept 16th when he was about 2 weeks old, so he was about a month an a half old then. I was swept away. This was the youngest referral I had ever heard of. He was born right around my birthday too. I went to the computer and pulled up his sweet little face and immediately fell in love.

Sick

2010-02-09T00:12:00.000-08:00

I am generally a healthy person, but for some reason a certain bug has knocked me out. From cold to sinus infection I've now been sick for almost 2 weeks. We are still waiting for an embassy date and have great hopes to hear this week. I would love to start making travel plans. In the meantime, here are some more pictures.

Brothers Brothers

2010-02-01T15:32:00.001-08:00

Many people have asked if the boys know that they are going to live together. Yes, they do! They have now been moved to the orphanage in Addis Ababa and these pictures were taken of them. They brought tears to my eyes! (I can't upload the images right now because of the file type. I'll try to get Dave to fix it so that I can post them.)

OFFICIALLY LEGALLY PARENTS OF 6 BOYS!

2010-01-25T09:09:00.001-08:00

I have considered what to write on this day so many times over the last year and a half. Now that I'm here I'm at a loss for words. Ironic. I'll just give you their faces. Seth Girma Routly age approx 4, Zane Yared Routly age approx 4 mos.

Blog What Blog?

2010-01-19T08:04:00.000-08:00

It is very sad when a friend asked me about the adoption and then asked if I'd updated the blog. I stared at her for a few seconds until I realized that yes I do have a blog. The worst part is that I have some pretty good material to share in the blog but I can't stop playing Bejeweled Blitz on facebook to ever take the time to update the darn thing. I also rely on facebook too much. I figure with over 200 friends everyone should know what is going on with me. Unfortunately a lot of those 200 really don't care. I am going to try to do better this week and spend each day to tell about something neat going on. First should be the adoption. So it took forever to get our referral, then it took 2 weeks to get our second referral. That was Oct. 1 and 15. Then it took forever to get a court date. We were told that once they submitted our paperwork to the court we should get a court date within 2 weeks. It took 5. So now we have a court date, January 25th!! If we pass court it will be the first thing in our adoption that went as planned. Dave has finally received his passport, so at least he will be able to travel to Ethiopia with me. It seems like those who have passed court are getting embassy dates for about 6-8 weeks later. I got an email from a girl who passed court yesterday and she is looking at a possible March 4 embassy date. Does that put us around March 11? Who really knows. I am excited to pass court because then I can freely share pictures. It is quite surreal to think that possibly in less than 1 week I will be the legal mother of 6 boys, and that I have not met 2 of them. Weird.

REFERRALS

2009-11-04T17:40:00.000-08:00

After a long year of paperwork and waiting Dave and I have finally received our referrals. This means that we have finally seen the faces of the 2 precious boys we will be adopting. I can't share much information with you until after the court date. I want to say thank you to the wonderful physicians who poured over medical reports with me, I appreciate you so much.
What I can tell you is that we will get 2 unrelated little boys (there were not any siblings available). One of them is somewhere between 2-4 (They are unsure of his age), and the other is 2 months old.
Where do we wait from here?
Now we wait for the second medical reports just to be sure the children remain healthy. The second medical is already done on the older boy, and we are waiting for the baby's. When it is complete, our paperwork will be submitted to the courts for a court date. We think it will be some time in December. If it goes through, the boys will be legally adopted as our own, but the process is not done. The agency then needs to apply to the boys' villages for birth certificates. Once those are issued then we will be assigned an Embassy date. It is at this date that we must be present in Ethiopia to sign papers and bring the boys home. We figure the earliest that this could happen is February, and the latest would be April. We will receive a 2 weeks notice of when we are to be there.

Thank you everyone for your support and prayers as we enter this last stage of our adoption journey. When the court date goes through, we will be able to share pictures of the boys with you. The are each coming with one Ethiopian name and we will keep them as their middle names. We have changed the name that we formerly planned to call the baby because too many girls were popping up with it. So when you think of them, think of Seth and Zane Routly.

Adoption Update

2009-07-28T18:23:00.001-07:00

Hello to all our adoption partners.
I wanted to give everyone a quick update. It seems that one should never lay out a time line for an international adoption. These things are not static and seem to be subject to the whim of whatever politician or governmental office is premiere that day. Originally we thought that we would have our referral (finding out which children we will adopt) around June and travel sometime at the end of July. Here we are in the last week of July and we still await the referral. The email that we received last Friday put waits for a referral at 5+ months for boys and 8+ months for girls. Our paperwork was sent in May so we are at the 3 month mark. We are also requesting sibling boys, so it may take even longer than the projected 5 months to receive the referral. Also do to some governmental changes to the adoption process in Ethiopia the wait for the paperwork to be complete and the court hearings to be final has also increased. It looks right now that we will be waiting another 6 months after we receive our referral before we are able to go pick up our kids. Regardless of the wait times, we are still hopeful that God will give just the right boys to complete our family. In the meantime, we are taking the time to reorganize our house and get it ready for a possibly very exciting first year or two once they arrive. Please keep our family in your prayers as we continue on this journey. Remember me as I will have all 4 children in school for the first time and will then have the responsibility of all the house projects. Please pray for the safety and care of the new boys and that the system will keep chugging along.
Thank you so much,
Maia

Those things you say...

2009-07-09T22:37:00.000-07:00

We have recently listened to a sermon series by Mark Driskoll of Mars Hill Community Church in Seattle called the Peasant Princess. It goes through the Song of Solomon. These sermons have been great to listen to and Dave and I have learned much about marriage. One thing that is stressed in a certain sermon is how the man compliments the woman on her appearance. Mark states that it is like a running commentary on how good she looks. He compliments her hair, he compliments her neck, her dress, her shoes, etc... Dave has always been great in this area and the children often times follow suit. Tonight after I had dressed to go out to dinner, Bryce came up to me and stated, "Mom I like your dress, it is very pretty. You look very beautiful. I like your shoes...I just passed gas...should I say excuse me?...I just passed gas again." I think he's got the running commentary part, but I'm not sure we are quite clear on the content yet.

Waiting, waiting, waiting

2009-06-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

Why is it that the wait seems to be getting longer. Our paperwork has been in Ethiopia for 5 weeks now. We got an email today from CWA stating that due to difficulties getting birth certificates printed in the country for adopted children that the wait after a successful court date has increased from 5 weeks to 10 weeks. Are you joking??? Also there has been difficulty in getting court dates to be successful, because there is a back log of paperwork and often times the documents for the children are not ready by the time the date arrives and the court date has to be postponed. I look at my friends who have their kids here and I'm jealous. It looks like we still have a lot of waiting to do.

Spring Break Vacation

2009-04-13T17:33:00.000-07:00

It is a wonderful day, great Georgia weather as the happy family left on Monday last week to go on their spring break camping trip. The weather report said snow...WHAT???
So here's what happened. We get to our KOA cabin which consists of 2 rooms and 2 space heaters and 2 doors that Bryce can't open. It is raining and we play tether ball in the rain. What could be more fun. Then it actually does start to snow. Did I mention we were in Georgia in April? Okay, so everyone but mom is in the cabin playing board games cuddled around the space heaters. Mom is outside trying to make a spaghetti dinner on the camp stove in the snow. Unfortunately it is too cold and the water won't boil in the big pot. By the way, you can make spaghetti without ever boiling the water. Our evening treat that night was camp stove popcorn. Everyone bravely trooped outside to pop it and then ran back inside to sit on the floor, eat popcorn, and listen to Dad's ghost stories that can't be too scary because then no one will sleep. Somehow it was about a lost 6 foot tall chicken...

Tuesday - still snowing. The boys and Dave go on a trek to try and find the 6 foot chicken while I look for indoor activities. We decide that caverns under a mountain count as indoor, so we go on a cave tour. We sit down to share a 24oz hamburger for lunch then head back to camp. We go on another hike on the trails around the KOA when we get back. We climb trees, rocks, and see who can balance the best on fallen tree trunks. The evening is filled with smores and fire.

Wednesday - We GO SEE ROCK CITY. For those of you who do not drive in Georgia or Tennessee, you see these words painted on barns and billboards all around the Lookout Mountain area. We have fun and decide to get annual passes because the place is so stinking expensive to visit once. Then we head back to the KOA for a campfire treat of roasted apples. That goes well so we roast all our bananas too.
"Dave where is the water bottle?"
"It's in the camera case."
"Where is the camera case?"
"X@#%$^ It's at Rock City!"

Thursday - We SEE ROCK CITY AGAIN. Did find the camera and case intact, went to the Battles for Chattanooga and were delighted to use our newly bought season passes.
So we come home and I have several bug bites on my arm and face and neck. I suffer through the weekend at work itching like crazy. Everyone else is fine...or so we thought until today.
I noticed some red spots on Bryce's back. I asked him if he was itching and he states "Oh it's just the bugs that are eating me." I take his clothes off and he has over 100 bites on his body. We believe it is chiggers. GREAT! We've been home for 3 days and he has slept in his bed with his brother. All children and beds get stripped, everyone gets scrubbed with hot water and I'm still working on the laundry. That child!!!!\
So when are we going back?

JOY

2009-03-12T08:26:00.001-07:00

Hello all,
I just had to share my joyful moment. We have been waiting for a certified copy of my birth certificate to be sent to us from the US government since I was born in Germany. We asked for it in December and have only received a letter stating that we may need to go to a formal court hearing to get it released. A man from the Secretary of State's office called me today to let me know that they cannot give me a copy of my Certificate of Birth Abroad, but that they did find my US birth certificate and were going to send me 2 copies of that and refund the rest of my money. Hallelujah, finally!! I would have been a big problem to submit the Ethiopia paperwork without that document. Now forward we go.
Maia

Countdown to babies

2009-02-14T10:08:00.000-08:00

The Countdown Begins…
The Timeline:
February - I600A submitted to immigration. 90 days processing, expected approval in the beginning of May.
- Dossier and all outstanding fees sumbitted to Christian World Adoption for approval.
March - Dossier sent to the US embassy for authentication then to the Ethiopian embassy for authentication
April - Dossier sent to Ethiopia for translation and approval.
May - We receive names and medical reports of the boys and immigration approval.
Possibly July - 8 weeks from immigration approval is the court date.
Possibly August - 5 weeks from the court date is the embassy date when we get to travel to Ethiopia to pick up our children.

The above timeline is VERY hypothetical in that there can be delays at any stage of the process. Still we are hoping that our two newest children will be in our home as soon as possible. At this time we are pulling together the final documents for the dossier and the rest of the CWA fees.
Our friends have been extremely generous to us. We have some who have showered us with baby furniture and clothes. We have others saving clothes and other baby things for us. Children’s Heathcare of Atlanta, Maia’s employer, has given us $10,000 toward the cost of this adoption. We are grateful that Maia works for an outstanding company. We thank all of the others of you who have given us monetary donations. Every little bit moves us closer to bringing these children home and we are so grateful to all who have participated with us so far. We will continue to keep all of you updated on how things are progressing. Again, Thank you. Dave, Maia, Bren, Jace, Joel, Bryce, and soon to arrive Seth and Quinn.

Sleepless nights

2009-01-05T22:33:00.001-08:00

I am up late tonight unable to sleep so I thought I'd put up a post. Christmas was a unique experience this year as the boys were a surprise to all who asked them what they were getting. There were no presents underneath our tree this year as we bought the boys a trampoline a few months ago and are saving our money for the adoption. When asked what they were getting for Christmas the boys would launch into a dissertation about the new boys in Ethiopia and how expensive it is to bring them to the US. They would tell people how they are contributing and how Jesus gave the greatest gift of all. Those were proud moments for both Dave and I to witness. My mom made the boys each a small tote bag and filled them with underwear and socks. When they opened them they were thrilled. They were so grateful and excited that they received anything. The feeling this Christmas season was so much on giving and the gift. I hope to replicate it somehow in the future.

Disappointment

2008-12-23T06:42:00.000-08:00

I am reminded today that my worth comes from who I am in Christ rather than my accomplishments in this world. It matters not how much one works, is ethical, and praiseworthy. In the end it is up to the fickle nature and agendas of those who are in power over you. I should look to my work and know that those things that I do that are prompted by His Spirit are approved and not look for commendations by man. Still I am disappointed. The workings of this world state that one should be rewarded accordingly for good work. I need to not believe the lie. We are here to serve God, to glorify and enjoy Him. This is what I must hold on to. He has other plans for me and they are for my good. I can grieve but I must not dwell. Lord help me move on from this place.

Home study

2008-12-08T12:36:00.000-08:00

The Home study should be complete January 5th as long as we have all of our paperwork together. I'm excited that things are moving along.
My mother has made color specific quilts and decorations in our home for the boys. Bren is yellow, Jace is blue, Joel is red, and Bryce is green. We spoke about what colors the new boys should be. After a couple of days of thinking we decided that the colors of the Ethiopian flag would be appropriate. They are orange and turquoise. I couldn't believe it because Christmas 2007 when she painted a pirate ship in the boys bathroom, she made each of the sails their color. There were 2 extra sails so she mixed paints and just painted them colors that she thought would look nice. Those 2 sails are orange and turquoise.

Newsletter #2

2008-12-08T11:32:00.000-08:00

A great Christmas “hello” to our adoption family. Thank you for your prayers and donations as we continue along this adoption road.
What have we done so far?
At this time we have completed our orientation with Christian World Adoption, our adoption agency. We attended a webnair, signed our contracts and paid the first fees. We have also begun our home study. We turned in a large amount of paperwork including a transracial parenting plan, a cultural awareness plan, our family histories, and a family budget. We had one visit from our case worker and there will be 2 more before the home study is complete.
What are you working on now?
We need to have certified copies of birth certificates and immigration cards for the dossier that gets sent to Ethiopia. We are waiting to receive those in the mail. We are having our physicals done and doing the required education for both the home study and CWA. We will also be getting our finger printing done in the next couple of weeks. All parts of the dossier need to be notarized so we are currently attempting to collect all the documents needed, such as employment letters, drug screens, and bank statements, get them notarized appropriately and then not lose them.
What comes next?
We submit documents to US Citizen and Immigration Services to obtain international adoption approval once the home study is complete. When we obtain approval then we send in our dossier, pay the rest of our fees and await a referral. (A referral is when they match you with your children.) We feel like we are well on our way and the excitement keeps building.
Fees?
We would be glad of any help, if you feel led check out the CWA website or email us. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. We wish all of you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Anxiety

2008-11-25T17:07:00.000-08:00

I am trying not to be anxious. We are starting our dossier. I printed 20 pages of instructions and requirements tonight. The paperwork is daunting but what I fear most is that all the fees are due when we turn it in. I know that God is bigger than a pricetag, but in my heart I find myself being anxious and strategizing about how we are going to pay it all.

Oh My!!!

2008-11-16T11:33:00.001-08:00

My life is like living on the roller coaster Goliath at Six Flags over Georgia. I am either at an incredible height, or a gut wrenching low but either way I'm flying fast. Still, it doesn't seem like I'm going as fast as I would like. We have sent off our home study paperwork and send off our first CWA installment on Friday. Things are moving along.

On the home front Bryce remains the boy no one can stop. This morning, having gotten home from work at 0430am I heard the phone rang at 0700. Shortly later Dave tells me that it was our neighbor. I'm wondering why our neighbor is calling at 7 in the morning. Dave says that Bryce had gotten a stool and removed the key to the back door from the wall. He then unlocked the dead bolt and the door handle and proceeded to go out. Mind you it's 39 degrees outside and he is in pajamas and bare feet. He proceeds out the fence gate in the backyard and walks through the backyard to our neighbors house to knock on their door and ask for candy. AT 7 AM!!!!! Bryce claims that he did not request candy, "I offered." he says.

Masculine moment

2008-11-15T01:56:00.000-08:00

So this happened the other day, but it's worth committing to memory. We have a little girl who lives next door who is the same age as the twins. They all like to play together and they generally do well. They boys were playing outside when I realized that I didn't hear them making as much noise as usual. I peeked out the screen door to see them all lined up along the fence and Patti was standing on the other side talking to them. I heard her say something, then the boys would do something, then they would all laugh. I couldn't see them very well, but I did her this statement..."Now kiss on the lips!" Of course, the "Mother voice" boomed out of me "NO KISSING!!!". All the children squealed and scattered. Shortly after that incident I looked out again to see Joel with his pants down, swinging his bare behind at Patti. I yelled "JOEL!!!!", pants came up and Joel came in. He was summarily disciplined and told not to do everything that Patti tells him to do. Later Bren and Jace swore that Patti had told them to kiss each other. Again they were reminded that they did not need to do everything little girls tell them to do, especially if Mom or Dad would not approve. Bren then confessed that Patti had told him to eat a leaf on the way to school and he had done it. He said that it tasted bad and made him feel sick. I again wonder what it is about the male mind that allows for situations like this.

Surreal experiences

2008-11-09T15:26:00.000-08:00

So as I was soul searching earlier today Dave was out buying shoes for Bren and Joel whose tennis shoes have worn out. These are the experiences in the Routly household. The boys were invited over to the neighbors to get a "treat". Their house backs up to ours. Shortly after they have gone Bren and Jace (7) rush back and state that Joel (5) has lost his shoe in the compost pile and Bryce (3) is helping him look for it. They go back out to help look. Then Joel comes in and states "I think my shoe is lost forever and I'm sad about that." He was informed that having a lost new shoe was not an option and he had to find it. Dave then left his half-eaten dinner, got a flashlight and went out to help the boys and neighbors search through the compost heap for the shoe. As of this time the shoe is still lost but the shovel that Bren was using to search for the shoe, which he lost during the search, was found. The brand new shoes had been in our house for less than 3 hours.

Humility

2008-11-09T13:50:00.000-08:00

So I've never been the most humble person in the world but recently I've realized just how much I don't deserve the compliments I'm getting. As we progress through the adoption process I get more and more comments about how "saintly" we are. Oh if only that were true. I'm as selfish as the next person if not more. I don't want to give up my dinners out, or my trips to Disney World or buying what I want when I want it. I love doing those things. If it weren't for the redeeming work of Christ in my life and the absolute belief that Dave and I are being called to love and care for more children we would happily spend our resources on ourselves. I don't deserve compliments. I'm being obedient to what God has told us to do and I believe that I will get so much out of this life as opposed to one that extra money would buy me. I have learned that the things the media and advertisers and our own bodies tell us is so important, usually serves to weigh us down and make us unhappy. I am trying to be content with the process, give the credit to God's work in my life, and focus on those things that have eternal significance rather than temporal.

CPN

2008-11-06T14:50:00.001-08:00

I PASSED!!!!!!

Paperwork

2008-11-05T10:40:00.000-08:00

We are getting closer to turning in our paperwork. I went to my AWESOME friend Judith's house today. She became a notary public just to help people who are trying to adopt. She notarized the documents we needed and now we are ready to send them off to CWA with our first $2500. We are still working on the home study paperwork and hope to be through with it by the end of the week. Then off it goes with it's $650 fee. It's tough getting through all the questions but Dave and I have found it fun bragging on our marriage.
Other items: I take my CPN exam tomorrow and hope to pass as that will be a stepping stone to a promotion at work. I want to promotion so that we can save more for the adoption. Little steps one at a time. M

Newsletter #1

2008-11-01T09:53:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the Routly Adoption Newsletter

I will be posting these letters periodically to update you on our adoption progress. In this first letter I will answer some of the questions we have been receiving most frequently.

What are you doing?
We are adopting 2 small boys (who we will be paired with at a later time) from Ethiopia. We are told they will mostly likely be a 6 month/old and a 2 year old.
Why adopt?
Dave and I were challenged at church recently to assess our life priorities. We were encouraged to determine whether we were attempting to live a life of ease or living a life that had eternal significance. This led us to make several changes in our lives the greatest being the decision to make a life-long personal commitment to children in need.
Why Ethiopia?
We researched domestic and international adoption intensely over the past 5 weeks. Dave found he has a real passion for international adoption so we decided to go that route. After that it was easy. Ethiopia is a country in abject poverty with a program that is very large with many children, mostly boys, waiting for adoptive families. Ethiopia is also a country which will allow you to adopt even if you already have 4 children in your home.
Why more boys?
We know boys. We have boy things. We love boys and boys are waiting. Plus what boy wouldn’t love to be a part of our happy boy chaos.
How much does it cost?
International adoption is very expensive. Many government hands have to touch your paperwork and they all require a fee or salary. The general total is from $25,000 to $27,000 in estimation. I will include a breakdown of the fees on the next page for those who are interested. We as a family have determined to give up unnecessary things until our boys are home. This includes family vacations, dinners out, haircuts (Maia will be cutting hair), and children’s activities. The boys have stated that the new boys are worth more than karate and Six Flags passes and they want them home.
Can we help?
Yes, contact us and we will tell you how.

Here is the breakdown of expenses as listed by CWA. Some of these are variable and we are trying to find the lowest cost options available.

Agency Application Fee $350
Agency Professional Services (first child) $5000
Agency Professional Services (second child) $2500
NCFA Online Parent Training Course (single / couple) $95 / $175
Post-Adoption Administration & Translation $1500
Home Study $1300
US authentication of documents $400-800
Document translation and authentication $650
International fee (first child) $7000
International fee (second child) $4000
Ethiopian visa per adult $60-100
Airfare per adult $1700-3500
Airfare per child $500-1500
In-country expenses per day $200-400
Child Medical Exam, Consul Fee, Visa Photos, Ethiopian passport per child $670

Welcome to Routlyland blog

2008-11-01T09:18:00.000-07:00

This is the area where we will catalog the adventure of adopting our 2 Ethiopian boys. Check here for all the details interesting stories and more.